Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
