i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
