Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
