If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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