My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The air was thick with penises
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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