..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
