I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
