The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
