i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
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I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
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Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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