The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize