OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
he had hair everywhere except his balls
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
