Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
