Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
