I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
