i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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