I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
