i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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