Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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