Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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