I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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