i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
