Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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