so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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