I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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