You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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