i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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