This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize