i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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