I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
