You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
