What a fucking waste of an outfit
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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