i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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