I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
