I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
