just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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