i just wanna soil my oats bro
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
