Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
