Define "chronic" masturbator.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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