is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My vagina just clenched in fear
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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