Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
