I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
