dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
