It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
