fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
