i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
