I just threw up on my dentist
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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