So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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