Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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