i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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