I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I need to align my fucking chakras
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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