dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
