you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
