Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
