alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just invented taco cereal.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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