ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
