I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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