white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
People with herpes should wear stickers.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
