I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
