He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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